Reviews May Contain Minor Spoilers

If you're reading a review you should expect to hear some spoilers. I try to keep them to a minimum though.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

This is the second film in the Jurassic Park franchise that I haven't seen since it was released in theaters. It didn't take me long to realize why.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) is based on Crichton's first sequel that Spielberg himself requested.

Ian Malcolm is approached by Jurassic Park creator, John Hammond, to lead a team into the breeding site for Jurassic Park on Isla Sorna. He is adamant that Jurassic Park should be destroyed and forgotten. It is only when he finds out his girlfirend is on the island that he rushes a team in to save her. Unfortunately, Hammond's company Ingen has sent in another team of ruthless hunters to salvage the project and set up a new park in San Diego.

This film rushes from action scene to action scene using flimsy pretenses. The characters have zero intelligence. They drag a baby T-rex around knowing that the parents will come and kill them (if they feel like it). I'm actually surprised they used as many real models as they did, but it was only 1997. CG technology hadn't progressed that much in four years.

Okay guys, what's the dumbest way to handle this?
Our Heroes
Ian Malcolm steps up to the hero plate while trying to save his girlfriend from the horrors of the park. He has slightly more intelligence in that he wants to just leave, unfortunately his libido seems to get in the way of his brain.

Eddie Carr is the team's field equipment expert. He earns his place on my heroes list for showing the most brains under pressure and saving all the other characters. Naturally this mean he gets pointlessly eaten by the curiously judgemental T-rexes.

Idiotic Observers
Kelly Malcolm is Ian's daughter who is a former gymnast. She misinterprets her inept Dad when he tells her "not to follow him" and then to "ignore him." Remember in my Jurassic Park review when I noted that neither of the kids got really annoying. Kelly does almost nothing for most of the film, before kicking ass and then promptly dropping from the film.
Found You!

Sarah Harding is dumb. She is a wildlife photographer and sometimes dinosaur specialist sent to document the inhabitants of Isla Sorna. Unfortunately, she spends most of her time trying to save a baby T-rex by way of killing as many people as she can. Her actions lead to almost as many deaths in the movie as Nick's.

Nick Van Owen is a former member of green peace and current idiot. He comes up with such brilliant ideas as: releasing a plethora of trapped dinosaurs in an inhabited camp and goign off by himself to find a com room while being hunted by raptor. I'm pissed this dunce survives.

Corporate Foes
Peter Ludlow is Ingen'sa CEO and the blood sucking lawyer of this movie. This time they decided to make him a villain like lawyers usually are. In doing so, he pretty much loses all survival instinct.

Roland Temblo is a South African big game hunter. He's presented as a villain, though he may not be all that bad. He wants nothing more than to face a T-rex one on one. This confrontation occurs off screen while we get to see out main characters dragging a T-rex baby around and a minor villain being eaten. I can't help but think a much better film involving Ronald Temblo was occurring just off screen

It may not look like much, but its a marvel of spatial incongruity.
The T-Rexes have had their baby stolen and are pissed. Sort of. They seem to be pissed enough to eat minor character, but strangely fill up when the main characters come around, weird. ALso, they can see things that don't move, they may be getting a head start on that whole evolution subplot in Jurassic Park 3. Still, two monsters equals twice the scare right? Right ?!?

The Velociraptors are there. They're basically thrown in because they were popular. They would be scary if the area the humans encounter the raptors in made any sense spatially. The Isla Sorna visitor center is a magic world of convenient trap doors and bizarre passages. Its no wonder the raptors lost, the plot convenience in their action scene alone still confounds me.
This is the closest to 'wonder' we get. Lame.

Overblown Atmosphere
Hay! Hay Guys! You seen my kid? I really need to hire a babysitter.
Okay, its mostly the same music and design, but everything seems a little off. Partly because there isn't any magic. No scene of wonder as we witness the dinosaurs for the first time. No character to be amazed at their grandeur. We never really see more than a few dinos at a time and they are pretty much always a threat.

In the End
There are two ends. One involves a deus ex machina helicopter which leads into the infamous T-rex in San Diego scene. Neither of these are satisfying and both of them are abrupt.

It even surprised me how much of a mess this film is. I wonder if it even had a script. It seems to be made up of the skeleton of The Lost World novel and the pieces of the original Jurassic Park novel that Spielberg couldn't fit in to the first film. This film is bereft of any meaningful thought or original ideas. It feels like a rehash made to finance a better film. I'm sorry to say that this may be Spielberg's worst film, but I'll reserve judement until I've seen them all.

Next up: I'm not sure, but it won't be A.I. I need a pallet cleanser.

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